Since we’re sort of on an Award Kick this week, I’d like to introduce a new one. One that I made up tonight.
This award is a very specific one. It’s not that easy to attain it, so it must rightfully go on to those who excel in their field. I give to you, blogsurfers…
The >:-P! Awapd. Three things:
- There isn’t a word for >:-P!, you have to either make the face (the…[awkward facial expression]…awapd!), or say the characters one by one (The greater-than-colon-hyphen-capital-P-exclamation-point awapd!)
- Yes, that says Awapd, a typo of Award…a sort of tribute to bad poetry, which often includes typos and improperly-placed punctuation and symbols.
- It’s pronounced award. Not awap’dh! Come on people, how linguistically antagonistic do you think I would be! 😀
And, there are some rules that go along with this award.
1. Link back to the person who gave the award.
2. Share a little insight on bad poetry, for those of us who are trying to be the next Homers and T. S. Eliots of the Bad Poetry world.
3. Compose a bad poem, in honor of the award.
4. Give it to a prolifically bad poet among your contacts.
This whole bad poetry thing is new to me, but I foresee it as something that may become big in the blogosphere, and perhaps the internet at large. I see a Wikipedia article on the art of bad poetry. I see Youtube videos with bad poetry set to wonderfully bad piano music. Jump on the car now, folks, while the train’s just starting!
So, I must follow my own rules, I guess.
1. Since I’m the originator of the award, I don’t think I need to link back to myself…?!
2. Make it bad, folks. It doesn’t come naturally. (Well maybe for some people!) What do I do to make bad poetry? I break rules. Sure, throw in a typo. End some sentences with prepositions, even if you’ve never done it before. Go out of tempo (who needs meter and verse?). In a word: Break rules! (See, I just said that “Break Rules” was “A” word! That’s a fine example right there!)
3. My Poem:
I can imagine them dancing
When they get this awapd.
Happy tears streaming
When they get this awapd.
I’ve made someone’s day.
Dewrder. (This word—Welsh for “Courage,”—is a typical way to end a bad poem. It’s simply a decorate embellishment to the meaning of the poem.)
4. I give this award to: Lisa of Milkfever! May she be the first recipient of many. Congratulations!
Okay, down to business. After all is said and done, I must be a well-rounded writer, because I can write good and bad poetry. Sorry, all of you who think that I’m a great bad poetry writer, but I kept coming up with these poems that I liked too much to delete…
A P? the old man said,
Stroking his beard that was as gray as the pearls around his old wife’s neck weren’t
That looks like an R to me
Slowly, that’s how old people
No grandpa, it’s an P.
You spelld it wrong.
I know that’s a P,
I can see, can’t I!
I have glasses don’t I!
I know how to use commas and question marks don’t I!
Yes I can see it’s a P,
It’s as clear as it can be!
Rhymes that end with an E
Are rather cheap,
Cheap as can be!
It’s supposed to be an R?
Throw away your bad poetics diploma,
In the trash,
Where you throw things away,
Away from me, thou slug of a poet,
YES I KNOW, IT’S A P!
Happy trails y’all.
(I’ll try to get back to real posting next week…ha ha ha)