I realized today how dangerous gossip can be. This is NOT a story from my life, this is just one of those extended “What if!!!” situations. I thought it might be fun to blog about.
* * * * *
Let’s say, for instance, somebody told you something about somebody else.
Then, you go and tell somebody else (not the somebody else that it was about—an other somebody else) what the first person told you. Now, you both draw a conclusion about the first two people (that the first one is a gossip, and the second one is a bad person), and then you talk with each other about how you feel some way about those people. You may even approach the first person and talk some more about it, then they tell you that the second person—who was not who you thought it was—actually didn’t do what they said that they did. Oops. Now, you’ve misjudged both two people: The first person isn’t just a gossip, they’re an untruthful gossip (there IS a difference!), and the second person isn’t all that bad after all.
Now, you go and try to tell that confidante that you talked to that you were wrong, and the first person told you that the second person was somebody else, and you got it wrong. Now the person that you’re talking to is upset at you, because they just went and confronted the second person (the one that was accused) who denied all claims (righteously) and they’re both offended now. Now you are friendless in that direction. So you go and have some chai with the first person, who you’ve decided is a miserable gossip and should be avoided—well except for today, when you’re going to tell them off for making your life miserable.
So, over chai, you spill your guts, and it just gets worse. Now First Person is angry at you, Third Person is angry at you, and you learn something else—First Person went and asked forgiveness of Second Person, and told them that they told you about what they thought about them. Second Person is angry at you now, because Third Person told her that you told him about what First Person said about Second Person.
Now, Second Person is furious at First Person.
Third Person hates you, and hates First Person because of how he misled the both of you.
First Person is angry at you for taking out your anger on him, after all it was only accidental, and everybody makes mistakes. Sheesh! He thought you were a better friend than that.
So you go and complain to someone else. His name is…you guessed it, Fourth Person.
You tell Fourth Person about how First Person misled you, how Third Person seemed to be a good listener but just got angry when the whole thing progressed, and there’s no HOPE of gaining back Second Person’s friendship.
Fourth Person says he’s very sorry for you, but that’s not the story he heard.
Turns out, Second Person came and talked to Fourth Person before you showed up. Second Person said that both First Person, Third Person, and you were gossiping about his sister-in-law.
Second Person was Fourth Person’s sister-in-law? Fail.
Moreover (oh not that word!!!), before all this started, Second Person and Third Person had been seeing each other. That was why Third Person had to go confront Second Person—There were to be no secrets between the two if it was going to work out. Second Person accused Third Person of mistrusting her. Now they are both angry at each other, and at you, and so are persons One and Four.
Moral: Don’t Gossip. Just…Just don’t.