Epic Excuses!

Sorry I haven’t been around much. In fact, I have to keep this quick because my battery is running out and my charger is MIA. So, I must be brief.

I could tell you all the boring things that have been happening that keep me away from my blog. But as the name implies, not only would it be rather plain, it would also be a pretty lame attempt at trying to make you understand what’s been happening in order to smooth things over for not having written anything, but not sure that there’s any smoothing over to be done. I know you all have lives too.

See, even my writing is shabby when I just go with a dumpy first draft.

So, I’ve decided to make up an excuse about why I haven’t been blogging.

Well, you see, my plants and I are writing from a bunker at the top of a mountain. It’s an old abandoned cement thing left over from one of those wars. Anyway, the reason we’re here is because we got chased out of my place by pirates who crash-landed on their way to 2145 A.D., and needed—

Aah! I’m running out of battery! My plants are sending a message through the network of trees down the mountain, and I’m hoping that help will come soon.

My battery is almost gone. I have one last message for my Dear Readers, and that is—


They’re coming! Arun, man the cannon! Planty—here’s a rifle! Ophelia and Gloriette, go bar the doors! Gershwin, batton down the hatches!

[J.P. Leans out the window with a rifle, before typing one last message on the computer and slamming it shut one last time]



16 thoughts on “Epic Excuses!

    • Yes! We’ve managed to fight them back for a while. But, the Cowboy Space Fleets have just arrived and our situation got a little more complicated. (I can’t say much because my every word is being monitored by the pirate’s wireless scanner. But three words. Holographic. Iron. Lady.)

  1. Perhaps those excuses belong in EIB, too! After all, the site title says nothing about it being all poetry! That way EVERYTHING I write could be on that site! – But your Excuses would be there too!

    Have fun – come back when you are able, and don’t let the pirates get any of your plant friends. . .

    • Ooh, what a good idea, Paula!

      I will try to get back soon. But right now, I’m trying to fix this door, it’s full of charred, spiky holes. If you have any sheet metal, please be sure to send it up the mountain. Oh, and if you’ve got any leftover glass Pepsi bottles, send those too—I have an idea that just might work…

  2. The “Bang!” of the rifle rings out. Flashes of pink and green creep amongst the rocks. Hypoestes Phyllostachya makes her way up the mountain with a level of stealth unknown to hybrids. Pothos Epipremnum is close behind.
    “We’ve got to get this charger back before the dastardly Ficus learns we’ve stolen it! War is inevitable, and without Cabit’s communications, we’ll be fertilizer for sure!” Hypoestes whispers dramatically over the rocks…

    • Thank you for your spying work, M.E.…We’ve received the charger, but had been wondering when we were going to get another one. It came just in time.

      Tell me, does this Pothos Epipremnum go by the code name “BLCDNGEK#183?” Because we’ve been tracking that one down for ages…It’s wanted in over 52 states and is armed and deadly. Stealing battery charges is one of its lesser crimes. Any information is available…But be sure to send by carrier pigeon, as all the postal roads to the bunker are closed, barricaded, and booby-trapped by the Blue Footed Booby squadrons.

  3. Wow, when you make excuses, you really make excuses! Glad to see from the comments that you have been successful in fighting off the attack and maintaining power supply to your computer.

    Sheet metal is on its way 🙂 (may take a while because no one knows where on earth you are….or are you on earth?)

    • Yes! Thanks for the sheet metal, Janna. I’ve managed to fend off the Pirates and Land Dolphins for a while, but my door still needs patching. Send it to P.O. Box 04812957103857. And as far as Earth goes…I thought I was on Earth, but there was that whole thing where the Cowboys’ space ship threw a grappling hook down my chimney, and there was kinda a jolt…now that you mention it, I think I might be somewhere else…

  4. Pingback: Too Busy « House of Happy

  5. Pingback: While I’ve Been Away « House of Happy

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